Hi! If you've come here looking for me, you can probably tell I basically never use my journal anymore. I am planning to be active on Tumblr once more very soon, and I check Facebook and Twitter once in a blue moon as well, so you can always try and contact or chat with me on one of those. Also, this account is permanent, so you can always leave me a reply here and I will get a notification if you want to chat. But unless I develop a weird interest in LJ again, or feel like archiving writing here or something, this will probably be at the top of this journal indefinitely. Know that I adore you all. I leave you with this quote:

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. - Steve Jobs

Okay, I just sat down to eat and download some stuff, and my wireless router decided to do its occasional "I'm gonna freeze and make you get up and restart me" thang. This whole dance drives me nuts, because then I have to get up from my warm blankie and chair and yadda yadda yadda ... I have to do it a few times every few days, and what I should really do is go out and buy a new cheapy router, but I just never remember to do it. ANYWAYS.

So now I'm in my darkened office/spare room, restarting the damn thing. I straighten up from replugging the power cord, and my eyes refocus in the beam of light from the dining room, because apparently three or four inches from my face is dangling a small spider, just hangin' out or something. I immediately scream and do the flail-y dance, which can't be good for me or the spider. When I calm down it's gone, and I am left with only the heebie-jeebies and a distinct sense that I must've knocked it down, so now it's on the FLOOROMGGETMEOUTOFTHISROOM. And thus I stride quickly, trying to maintain some sort of adult dignity but failing in my haste, out of the office and quickly close the door behind me.

I am a lot better with spiders than I used to be. During undergrad, for two years I lived in a basement and the windows and, really, most of the rest of the apartment was full of them, so I got used to just smooshing or setting them free. House spiders, on the whole, are pretty harmless, although I have on occasion woken up with a spider bite. I've never run into a particularly dangerous spider in my own home, although I have helped my parents dispose of a widow or two, and run into widow, wolf and several others in the wild. I also appreciate the role they play in keeping many places, including my own domicile, much less buggy.

BUT STILL.

All this logic and reason aside, spiders still give me the jibblies. Especially when they're up close and personal. When I see them from afar, I am often able to just let them go, or sometimes I'll catch them and throw them outside ... But for a house spider, they don't really belong outside, so it's almost as bad as killing them anyways. The bottom line is, they get up in my space, I feel bad doing it, but more often than not I will probably mush it instead of trying to save it. But I often talk to them before hand, tell it that I appreciate it and its role in the ecosystem, but damned if it isn't all up in my territory, and they'd probably do the same if I was small and creepy and they were huge and afraid of me for very little reason.

And this doesn't happen just once in a while. Spiders apparently reeeeeally like me, it seems. Like the one from just a bit ago who was all in my face like 'Haaaay, gurllll!' Or the multitudes that have been washed down the drain (SORRY, GUYS). I mean, I know why spiders tend to end up in bathtubs, but sometimes it seems like they REALLY LIKE BATHTUBS ... >.> So, if any spiders are reading this, look, I like you guys, but I don't LIKE you guys, so can you please, PLEASE just keep your distance? And everything will work out juuuust fine.

Working on A Chrismas Carol at the moment ... It's a musical version, which is cheesy but tolerable, and the cast and crew are fun, so that makes it easier, too. I'm not sure what comes after this gig, which always makes me a little nervous. Especially since, this time, I don't really have much of a parachute. I'm kind of hoping I get offered this adjunct professor position to teach a class and that the Center keeps hiring me for little stuff. Between the two, I could probably make due.

But in the meantime, I'm really starting to consider finding a roommate. I'm not huge on the idea ... I like having my private space, my own personal apartment. But at this point, it just seems like i struggle with my bills more and more. Blah. Oh times, you can be so lousy.

And yet, things are good, not bad. I'm making new friends and watching good stories, and generally living well. We've been having a regular Friday game night after work and it has been a ton of fun. I've made a new good friend in Katrina, and her boyfriend Harrison's pretty awesome as well. I've gotten into all kinds of new-to-me shows via Netflix ... Especially Veronica Mars, which I have always meant to get into but never really found the opportunity to watch from the beginning. I -lurve- it. But then, noir is a favorite style of mine, so it's not too surprising.

Beta is over, so no more Cata for me until next week, but I should be getting the collector's ed in the mail on release day - thanks to V & C for awesome presents! ^_^ It will be nice to be a little ahead of the curve on the expansion, but I haven't been playing a ton for a while in general. I think a good portion of that is due to me being worn out on WoW and Wrath, but also the fact that there's not that much companionship to be had in guild chat due to multiple reasons ... And I wonder whether that will change with the expansion. If it doesn't, I may end up finally moving at least my main like some people already have ... I dunno. Only thing to do is wait and see, I suppose.

Oh, life. You are odd and varied and complicated. Perhaps I just need to stop resting on my laurels and try harder. I've been sitting on several fic ideas and an idea that I kind of want to turn into at least a story if not a novel ... It's just been a long while since I've written anything expansive. Or much of anything at all, really. I'd like to rp again, I've sort of looked for new opportunities, but I kind of would want to play Jack again, and it's very hard to find something open for him, not to mention the fact that it would be hard to top the last experience I had playing him ...

Well, things to think about, I suppose. Time for work.

It's been a long while since I posted anything on my LJ ... and seeing that I have this shiny iPad that fan do so many awesome things, I thought I'd get a journal program for it and see if it would be worthwhile. So this is really just a test! ^_^

Ohhh, I am so borrred. I hate money right now, and life is pretty boring. Joblessness continues mostly unabated since the end of December, save for a few quick gigs here and there, and the student loan people are being asinine as per usual. Luckily, I did join two choirs, both of which I have been in before - Sine Nomine and the Northland Chorale - so that's providing at least a little distraction.

Plus, I've been spending a bunch of time with Mom and the family still. Mom's pretty much fully recovered and back to driving herself about now. She's juggling medications, and is still a tiny bit weak on her left side still, especially when she gets tired, but she's pretty much operating back at normal. I love her but she drives me a bit crazy, but isn't that what moms are for? I'm just glad that the stroke didn't have any truly lasting effects.

Anyhow. I really, really need to clean my apartment. But I have been putting it off, because I'd like to clean the tub ... I had a ceiling leak situation in there a few weeks back and maintenance has been dragging their heels about fixing it, so it's been a mess in there. I've actually been taking showers at my mum's for the past week because of it. They've finally got it all patched yesterday and now they just have to paint, so hopefully by tomorrow I should be able to start using it again. RAR.

... I need to write more. Not just LJ, but real writing. I have a multi-chapter Jack fic stuck in my head, two chapters of which has already been put down, but so much more still to write and all needing to be read and I just keep putting it off ... Yargh.

Might as well post this here. I need to use my LJ more, anyways! ^_^

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been!
-an end of the year WotLK meme for WoW_Ladies~
( Cut so it doesn't flood FLs ...  )

Ten years ago on New Year's around this very time, I was recovering from a bout of the flu that had very nearly required hospitalization and had been compromised with pneumonia. I spent, as I recall, the turn of the century all alone on my parent's couch in the den, watching the ball drop huddled in blankets and trying to breathe. It was not terribly enjoyable, but nothing blew up that evening, I slowly got better, and after I got to continue one of my most memorable years of college. At the time, I was still 19, had very little clue exactly what I was doing or where I was going in my life (even if I was in school getting a very particular degree), and was still very much a teenager emotionally.

Looking back on these past ten years, it surprises me how much has changed, how much has not, and how much has gone quite full circle in some ways ...

I have spent a good swath of my twenties doing a lot of growing. Cutting myself free and learning much, not only about what I want to do in life but about who I am, my strengths and weaknesses. I am anything but perfect, and I often wallow in my issues, but I know myself. I have metamorphosed into adulthood, although I'm certainly not sure when that happened, and I do know how to live and remember childhood and wonder. And I suppose in the end, perhaps it's all a moot statement, since this is what life's supposed to be about ... But so many people - certain people of my acquaintance sadly in particular - have stagnated enough that I feel it an accomplishment to be remarked upon.

In this decade I have completed two degrees, visited several countries, worked in many different places and gained much experience. I have found, loved, kept and lost many friends, lost a father and am worried about my mother, who sits even now in a hospital room as doctors still try to divine the reasons behind the 'small stroke' she had two mornings ago. She'll get better with physical therapy, as she was only struck a bit weak in her left hand and leg, which we are all thankful for, and we can only hope that they can figure out, regulate and perhaps even fix what went wrong to cause the condition in the first place, but that's in the future.

For now, all in all, while there are things that, had I the chance, I might go back and do over or do better, I think I am well satisfied with the past decade. I do not regret a single major choice I have made, and can only think of one person I wish was here now to see the world ringing in 2010. I think he would be well pleased, too. Good night, then, world. And here's hoping that this next decade will be even better and more fruitful.

To all my LJ friends (and others across all the lands), I hope your decade was wonderful, and I wish you a Happy New Year and a happy new decade. Much love, and take care.

M <3

Well, I've turned off LoudTwitter for the present moment. For one I was getting this weird LJ/Twitter 'echo' back and forth, to the point where I am quite certain that I'd be getting a post about a post about a post about a post etc, even if I didn't post on LJ or Twitter. And anyways, most everyone on LJ that I talk to often I'm already following & being followed by. Besides, it was much more pleasant without it, I think.

... If you're not following me on Twitter, let me know. I want to be Twitter friends with you! ^_^

I've been teaching my sister how to drive a standard. It's probably not as difficult as it could be, since she already knows generally how to drive a car. However, I now have huge amounts of respect for my father, mother, and my driving instructors. Then again, it's still pretty challenging, because I'm having to help her wean herself away from habits learned from years and years of automatic driving. All in all, though, I think she's doing ok. Soon, I think, she's gonna be driving stick with the best of 'em. Here's hoping!

Finally, we'll miss you, Teddy. One of our strongest generals lost just when we needed him most. But I'm glad he stayed with us through the spring. Godspeed, you great, gruff, fantastic bastard. Godspeed.